she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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