Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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