I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
