Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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