so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize