I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
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