Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
