it hurts more in the daytime
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
