I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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