i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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