btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
