hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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