hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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