WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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