I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
