margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you never un-have a 4some
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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