does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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