remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
