i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
