So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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