I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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