So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
