in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
