i barfeds in our rink
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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