I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
