Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
