Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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