all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
