it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
