thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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