I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
