it's too hot outside to masturbate.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
