What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
