Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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