just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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