Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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