why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
