maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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