we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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