Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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