Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
