if you like me you must not know who I am
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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