If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records