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• (619): View more from California

  you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

  (716): View more from New York

  do you not see the irony in that??

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet

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