Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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(650): View more from California

like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.

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(305): View more from Florida

he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

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(641): View more from Iowa

i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...

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(973): View more from New Jersey

when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"

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(406): View more from Montana

I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.

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(804): View more from Virginia

First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.

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