My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.