I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books