Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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