No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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