Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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