he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
