It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
