I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize