Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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