the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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