I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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