He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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