My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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