there's paper in my vomit.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
where does the pee come out of this thing
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And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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