you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize