no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
