She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
