hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
