We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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