some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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