Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
